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Bravery

A friend of mine is dying.  He was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2025 and surgery, radiation, and chemo have put off his passing but the time is approaching.

He has been in the unusual position of knowing that his time is limited more than it is for most folk and is making efforts to love his wife, children, family, and friends as much as he can with the time that he does have. 

Some folk associate bravery with risking death and I certainly don't mean to devalue that kind of bravery, common in the military, police, fire departments, etc. There is also the bravery of living with the shadow of one's mortality looming. I have seen it in others, I am witnessing it now.

This past week my friend spoke at our university chapel service about priorities. Because of his illness he recorded a video that was edited to allow him clarity; he introduced it briefly, having trouble speaking. The chapel service was full because he has been at our university for many years and is valued for his friendship and ability.

When I am hurt, my instinct has always been to withdraw until I feel able to go on, and then to act as if I am okay. Sometimes I fool others, sometimes I fool myself, it varies. In general I maintain some kind of plausible deniability that I am immortal and invulnerable. I want to be more like my friend.

And that is where I see the value in my friend dying well: showing us how to live well and how to die well. It is brave.

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