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Living with the Grays

I serve as faculty ombudsperson. In that capacity people do not stop by just to chat with me; the filter is set to admit folk having conflicts. As someone who has worked at the same place for 35 years oft times I know the parties in the conflict and being an amiable person consider the folk in conflict to be friends of mine.

I have the training and experience not to let the friendships affect the way I discuss options with folk along with their costs and benefits; it does mean I can't separate folk in my professional life easily into binary categories of right and wrong. I know that I have never been absolutely right or wrong so it makes sense that others haven't either.

I used to be more judgmental, more simplistic, more absolute. Maybe it's learning to live with (all of) my shortcomings that's helped me to be more tolerant of others. Maybe it's leading a sheltered life and not having to be in contact with folk who have committed truly heinous acts. In any event I never expected to learn to live with the grays and it surprises me regularly that I have.

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