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Speed

The week has gone by swiftly. I don't believe there were many ad hoc things on my calendar, but it does feel a bit like a blur.

This is part of my job and my lifestyle, at least during the academic year. I put a lot of thought and effort into my classes and so my time at work is pretty nonstop. I believe that I am better about being present with my family (mostly my wife now that we are empty-nesters) than I have been in past years, which means that overall I have less time for introspection, for contemplation.

I have the summers to balance the rhythm out, and to a certain extent when I don't teach during our January term also a long mid-year break as well. There are more strenuous jobs and I have no complaints.

I am someone who is an introvert and does value having time to hear my thoughts. I've made my bargains with the world around me that those moments of reflection are sporadic. Time stands still in them, almost perversely given the speed of the rest of my life.

I miss the speed when I am too long without it, though. I am a triage junkie. I remember hearing someone say once that any idiot can be noble in a crisis, it's getting through the day-to-day minutia that would try a saint. So I seek out crises or at least moments of pressure and pat myself on the back for navigating them.

I contain multitudes, as do we all. I realize this more with each passing day.

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