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Shift of Power

A large part of our family visit to the Northeast this past week has been spent with loved ones who need care. This has been hard on them; they have been role models of caring for others and the shift from offering to needing assistance is hard on the ego. I have begun that transition and I already see in myself that struggle.

Two things are limiting me currently. Firstly, my sleep disorder renders me very groggy at the end of the day. Unless I work hard (ingest caffeinated beverages, splash my face with cold water, etc.) I am not much help then.

Secondly my prosthetic knee has been a godsend but it is not the knee I was born with; stairs will be a difficulty for me the rest of my life. It was shocking to me how little help I was moving my daughter into her second floor apartment.

During the day I try offer my help freely and I'm still not too bad for carrying things on level terrain, such as grocery shopping and unloading, etc.

But if God grants me a long life more and more will need to be done for me. As much as I love my loved ones I am an introvert and constant interaction with others to do simple tasks wears me down.

One thing I note with my elderly relatives is their desire to decide unilaterally how they will be helped. That is something I have to date refused to do because of watching them make it hard to help them. I will always consult with folk aiding me.

I will probably always champion my personal autonomy when folk will act on me without my consent. I will commit to doing so with good humor and affection for those who mean well whether or not they do well. I'll fail, I'll try to do better, that is what living is.

I have a lifetime of problem-solving experience, personally and professionally, for things basic and complex. I can often find win-win approaches to things and have done so when recovering from surgery in the past; I just hope that my loved ones will heed me if not agree with me. It is not a pleasant prospect that they might not and I do empathize with my older relatives.

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