I think I first was a leader when I became department chair in 1994. Other positions (squad leader in marching band, etc.) had far less serious repercussions if I made mistakes. I felt good about my skills on one level, knew that the people I led wanted me to succeed, and that there were mentors available for me to learn from.
On an emotional level I struggled with insecurities and I still do from time to time in different contexts. One thing I picked up from my father is that it is easier to do hard things once you rule out the alternatives as being unacceptable. I developed a mantra: "My insecurities are a luxury that the folk who depend on me can't afford." Insofar as I feel a sense of duty it is tied into that sentiment.
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