Skip to main content

Being Heard

I am in my third year of a three-year term as Faculty Ombudsperson at Elon University. I remember being on Academic Council (our version of a Faculty Senate here at Elon) when the role was first proposed to help provide confidential support for faculty with problems. Always in the back of my mind I thought that I would like to be able to fill that role. I had to wait until I completed other leadership roles before doing so, but the timing worked out that I was between stand-in-front-of-large-groups gigs when it became vacant.

I expected that most of the gratification would come from experience with the institution (32 years and counting) and there is some of that---knowing procedures and people, etc. I was pleasantly surprised to find that most of the gratification comes from active listening.

Ombudspeople are not supposed to take sides, so we call the people who use our services "visitors" and not "clients".  I'm privileged to see most of my visitors feel relieved after telling their stories before and apart from any suggestions that I have to offer. If I am offered a second term I will accept it and this is the reason why.

I've noticed this in my other interactions, both professional and personal as well. Many people carry stress from not being heard, either from fear of revealing weakness or insecurity or not having people in their lives that care enough to pause, listen, and ask follow-up questions. I get to be that person that cares enough to listen, at least for a little while. It is a privilege.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Betrayal

I caught a student cheating on a final exam this morning. I had a line of sight on them and watched for ten minutes as they took their cellphone out of their pocket, kept it below their table, typed into it, read it, put it away, then wrote on the exam, repeating this cycle over and over again.  I was a bit surprised as the exam was open notes but this student had not attended many of our classes, just stopping by for exams, and I conjecture that they had no notes to open. I confronted the student who admitted that they had done wrong in an inarticulate non-confessional way. By the afternoon they had signed off on the honor code violation report to avoid further investigation and possible sanctions beyond failing the exam.  Is anger the right emotion to feel now? I had a working relationship with the student, although they had not contributed much to it. They had deceived me in order to gain unwarranted advantage over their peers in the class and that is not right. I don't wan...

Standing Your Corner

I'm a long-term David Simon fan ever since I read his book "Homicide", detailing a year-long embedding with Baltimore homicide detectives. It was clear-eyed about all of the strengths and weaknesses, good reflexes and prejudices of everyone that he met.  I enjoyed the television show that followed that he wrote for, and then of course "The Wire" on HBO and a number of his other shows---only limited by my access to streaming services.  There was a histrionic moment in a later season of "Homicide" where he just let a character vent; a homicide detective who was part-owner of a bar frequented by cops watched a particularly violent drug criminal, responsible for many unsolved homicides, come into his bar with his associates, violating the detective's territory. The detective came around the bar holding a billy club in his hand and loudly discussed his first year as a patrol officer walking a beat. His supervising officer told him that he had a corner a...

Car Accident

I was in a car accident a few days ago. There was a stopped car in the interstate and I didn't see it in advance; the car in front of me swerved into another lane and then there it was in front of me. I also swerved but damaged my commuter car, which is old and had many miles on it. The insurance company declared it a total loss.  The damage was where I scraped along the passenger side of my car (and the driver side of the stopped car). I had no deployment of airbags and no damage from my seat belt; no glass on either car broke, so it was a glancing blow if that makes sense. The front passenger wheel was damaged and I could not drive the car very far.  I pulled over to the shoulder and dialed 911. A state trooper made sure I was alright and proceeded to take care of the situation. I was moving slowly, aware that I had had a shock to my system and trying not to do anything to worsen the situation (stepping into traffic when I exited my vehicle, etc.) The trooper took my informa...