Thoughts and Interesting Stories---Jeff Clark

It is Good Friday again. I have many loved ones scattered around the country for whom this day is significant for their faith. The name refers to something very good indeed in the theological sense; still I find myself struggling with how to share that; "Have a Happy Good Friday" seems inappropriate given the event being celebrated is the agonizing death of someone, let alone of someone who is our savior. And perhaps that is best. While I associate Easter with celebration---he is risen indeed---Holy Weekend has always been a time of introspection and quiet for me. It is far more significant to my faith than Christmas is and so I feel the holiday in anticipation for a long time leading up to it. At heart is a sacrifice made on my behalf that with each day I am reminded was undeserved. I am keenly aware of my own failings. I am at a point where I don't let that realization cascade into depression and withdrawal but it is a fact that the standards I set for myself are not me...

Every now and then (by my estimate maybe twice a decade) I do something that carries a professional risk and is (not independently) fairly public where I work. I'd like to say that I do it intentionally but it's usually a compulsion on an issue that I care deeply about and not subject to much conscious choice. It doesn't always succeed but there is a definite collateral benefit for making the effort. I think I always knew that on an intellectual level but I'm old enough now and reflective enough to have experienced it a good deal. Now that I am in a wait-for-work position (as faculty ombuds) it is often cited by strangers who contact me. I know part of my formative experience was finding mentors who stood firm on issues that mattered to them, and now I take it as given that that is how one should act. It is a joy to see those qualities in my children.

I've lately taken to referring to math conferences as an opportunity for me to spend time with my tribe. I'm not educated in anthropology and may not be using the term accurately but for common usage it feels about right.  I'm a bit leery of the word mathematicians as meaning different things to different people in the profession; I do like being around math folk though. We are all over the place politically (the Unabomber was one of us) but we do share an outlook that is comfortable when shared. Whether we test them as often as we should we're pretty good as a group at articulating assumptions, which makes our conversations more interesting as a rule. We tend to approach many situations as problems (how can this be improved using the accepted metrics) and often think outside the box. We tend not to rely on authority (e.g. my claim is backed up by my reputation and the reputations of its adherents) much which is quite refreshing, especially at the start of my career. We...

I have had the sorrow this past week of saying goodbye to my mother-in-law after her long battle with breast cancer ended as well as visiting my mother in the hospital after a fall in which she injured her head (fracturing her occipital ridge).  For the latter I had been warned about her appearance after her injury, and for the former all of us knew that my mother-in-law would be in an open casket. I am a very squeamish person. One of the reasons that I love to cook is because I am squeamish about foods I do not like, and can feel safe with food that I prepare. As an introvert I run out of things to say quickly in conversation unless I have a role to play (teacher, parent, ombuds, etc.) in which case I'm okay. Otherwise I am ready to be elsewhere and can feel the nervous tension mount. I am not very squeamish about body horror, although I avoid it in entertainment as something that is not entertaining.  I have been with folk who have injured bodies and with embalmed corpses in...